10 other ways to deal with gas prices.
The Price of Gas showed you one example of how families are dealing with our country's absurd gas prices. If you're having trouble dealing with the skyrocketing prices, here are 10 other suggestions to work around the problem.
1. Sell your sperm/eggs everyday for forever. But 20 years from now, don't become a silver fox/cougar hunting down the barely legal prey, cause some of them will probably be your offspring.
2. Ask your grandmother for the family's secret pie recipes, then kill her and corner off the market.
3. Set up a Fundraiser 5K Run/Walk for yourself, and say it's because you have a really rare disease so it will be hard for them to prove you're lying. If you're a first timer at this, try Megalencephaly Cutis Marmorata Telangiectatica Congenita. That one always works well for me.
4. Carpool. Not only does this save you money on gas and help the environment, but if you're in a carpool of four, it means three out of every four days you can safely go to and leave from work belligerently drunk. In other words, you're only risking lives by drunk driving one out of every four days!
5. Gamble, gamble, gamble. Because let me tell you a secret: gamblers always win.
6. Move to Iran. They say they hate Americans but really they're just jealous that we have Dunkin' Donuts. Either way, you can win them over with your deceased grandmother's pie recipes.
7. Write a letter to the president. Okay, so this won't actually do anything regarding gas, but the White House will probably send you back a headshot of our commander in chief. Then you can draw a funny mustache on him with a marker. That'll show him.
8. Write a second letter to Bono. He has more control over our government anyway.
9. Commit a really bad crime and get caught. There's no driving in jail. But beware, because they do have a different type of "gassin' the tank" in there, the kind that costs you your dignity...
10. Walk, you lazy ass.
1. Sell your sperm/eggs everyday for forever. But 20 years from now, don't become a silver fox/cougar hunting down the barely legal prey, cause some of them will probably be your offspring.
2. Ask your grandmother for the family's secret pie recipes, then kill her and corner off the market.
3. Set up a Fundraiser 5K Run/Walk for yourself, and say it's because you have a really rare disease so it will be hard for them to prove you're lying. If you're a first timer at this, try Megalencephaly Cutis Marmorata Telangiectatica Congenita. That one always works well for me.
4. Carpool. Not only does this save you money on gas and help the environment, but if you're in a carpool of four, it means three out of every four days you can safely go to and leave from work belligerently drunk. In other words, you're only risking lives by drunk driving one out of every four days!
5. Gamble, gamble, gamble. Because let me tell you a secret: gamblers always win.
6. Move to Iran. They say they hate Americans but really they're just jealous that we have Dunkin' Donuts. Either way, you can win them over with your deceased grandmother's pie recipes.
7. Write a letter to the president. Okay, so this won't actually do anything regarding gas, but the White House will probably send you back a headshot of our commander in chief. Then you can draw a funny mustache on him with a marker. That'll show him.
8. Write a second letter to Bono. He has more control over our government anyway.
9. Commit a really bad crime and get caught. There's no driving in jail. But beware, because they do have a different type of "gassin' the tank" in there, the kind that costs you your dignity...
10. Walk, you lazy ass.
posted by todd at
11:33 AM
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